Remembering Chloe
a Noir fanfiction by Bulmafox

Kirika awoke with a start. She turned over to look at the clock and 
groaned inwardly. Three a.m. *again*? What was it with three a.m.? She 
tried turning back over and going back to sleep. After a few minutes she 
decided she wasn't going back to sleep, got up and walked into the 
living room.

She walked over to her favorite window, the one where the plant sat. 
She hesitated for a minute before deciding not to turn on the lamp next 
to it; she found the darkness suited her right now. On impulse, she 
decided to check on the plant. Its leaves were starting to turn color and 
she remembered it had been a few weeks since she last fed it. Kirika 
made a mental note to remind Mireille to pick up some plant food tomorrow. 

Kirika settled into her usual spot and looked outside. No one was 
there. *Of course not,* she thought, *No one sane's ever out at three in the 
morning.* And though there were streetlights, they were sparse around 
their complex. Almost perfect darkness, matching her mood.

She'd just dreamed about Chloe. Every night this week, she'd had the 
same dream over and over again. And every time, she would wake up around 
the same time; three in the morning, when the night was at its darkest 
and most desolate; the perfect atmosphere in which to brood. Maybe the 
night was trying to tell her something? 

Kirika let her mind drift to her dream--no, not dream, she realized. A 
memory. Of when she killed Chloe. She remembered it like it was 
yesterday.

*************************************

The watch's melody woke her up. Kirika relived in her mind the murder 
of Mireille's family, again. Only this time, she remembered Mireille's 
mother, Odette, telling her to take care of Mireille and that hatred can 
never save. When she came back, she found herself in the middle of a 
Greek-looking arena, with no idea how she got there. She saw, however, 
Chloe about to kill Mireille, and knew she had to act now. 

So she did. She saved Mireille's life, by shooting off Chloe's blade at 
the last second. The hurt on Chloe's face...she looked like someone had 
just kicked her puppy.

"Why?" Chloe asked, not quite believing what Kirika did.

*I can't.* Kirika thought, looking almost mournful, yet firm. *I can't 
let her die. Not even for you.*

"Why?" Chloe asked again, sounding on the vere of tears.

Only a few seconds passed, but it seemed like forever.

Then Chloe attacked. "Liar!" she shouted as she threw a knife at her. 
Kirika picked up the knife and defended herself. She didn't understand 
why Chloe was fighting her.

"Stop, Chloe! Please!" She blocked only Chloe's attacks, not becausse 
she couldn't fight her, but because she wouldn't. She was utterly 
unwilling to attack someone so important to her.

"You and Mireille living in Paris!" Chloe shouted as she lashed out. 

*Me and Mireille...? Is she...jealous? Of what?!*

"It was...it was...supposed to be me!"

*Supposed to be...?!* Right then it dawned on her. *She loves me! Like 
I love Mireille! She's in love with me!*

"It was supposed to be me!" Chloe cried as she lunged at Kirika.

Kirika jumped away, out of Chloe's reach, and dropped her knife, 
showing Chloe he no longer wanted to continue. "Please. Stop already."

Kirika saw the pain on Chloe's face; it made her want to say something, 
anything, to make it go away. Chloe got out her fork and looked 
painfully at it. 

Kirika watched with bated breath. *What is she....is that my fork? 
Chloe...* 

Chloe threw it away and turned around.

"Chloe..." *Does this mean...?* Kirika hoped so; she hoped Chloe had 
given up. Even hoped she would walk away, even if it cost her her 
friendship. At least she and Mireille would both be alive, and that's all she 
wanted right now. 

Without warning, Chloe ran at Mireille at top speed. With her knife 
out.

"CHLOE!" Kirika picked up the first thing she saw--the fork--and ran 
after Chloe. She guarded Mireille and plunged the fork deep into Chloe's 
chest. Suddenly, she saw it, all at once; how horrible killing really 
was. She had just murdered her other self. She murdered Chloe, and she 
would never walk again, would never talk to her again, would never do 
anything again. She sobbed as Chloe gasped "Noir" and slumped over. 

At that moment, Kirika wanted to die.

*************************************

"Chloe....why?" Kirika whispered as she lay her head on the windowsill. 
"What could I have done differently?" She racked her brain--as she was 
wont to do when she thought of Chloe for too long--trying to think of 
another way she could've kept them both alive. Every time, all the 
alternatives--even killing herself--would result in one of their deaths. 
Even so...she didn't regret saving Mireille's life, but she always 
regretted killing Chloe to do so--and would for the rest of her life.


"Chloe...." Kirika felt tears well up in her eyes and her throat hurt. 
She was about to cry, something else she was wont to do when she 
thought about Chloe for too long. "Chl..oe.." She closed her eyes and let her 
tears fall freely, not bothering to stop them. She felt her whole body 
hurt as she cried harder. *Good,* she thought, *Let it hurt. It's the 
least I can do...for taking her life.*

Somewhere amidst her sobbing Kirika could've sworn she heard something 
move. She quickly turned around...and saw Mireille, standing on the 
steps leading to their bedroom.

"Kirika..."

"Mi...reille, what are you doing up?"

"Your loud sobbing woke me up. Mind telling me what you're crying 
about?"

Kirika lowered her head and squinted her eyes and she cried some more. 
"...Chloe."

Mireille, sighed, almost inaudible, but not quite, and said, "Come back 
to bed when you get done."

Kirika turned back around and continued crying.

Her eyes widened as she suddenly felt a very familiar pair of arms wrap 
around her. She whirled around in shock. "Mireille! But you hate 
Chloe."

"It's true. I don't like her at all and I never have. But you're 
hurting." She pulled Kirika closer, until the younger girlwas snuggled into 
her shirt. "Go on, cry," Mireille whispered. "I'll stay as long as you 
need me to."

And so Mireille held her as Kirika cried into her shirt, and they fell 
asleep like that, leaning against the wall.

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